How NOT to Propose: A Study in Darcy's Epic First Attempt

Wherein we learn that leading with "my family will hate you" isn't the romantic opener we think it is

Welcome Back to Epic Darcy Fails!

Today we're examining the proposal that launched a thousand rewrites: Mr. Darcy's spectacularly disastrous first attempt at wooing Elizabeth Bennet. Because apparently, even our patron saint of brooding romance can absolutely tank a proposal when he puts his mind to it.

The man literally opened with "Despite my family's objections and your inferior social status, I love you." And then he was SHOCKED when she said no. Shocked, I tell you!

Let's break down this masterclass in "How to Ruin Your Own Love Life in 10 Minutes or Less."

Darcy's Proposal: A Play-by-Play Disaster

The Setup

Darcy storms into the room (already a red flag, my dudes) and starts pacing like a caged tiger with relationship anxiety. Elizabeth is just trying to read her mail in peace, probably thinking about literally anything except marriage proposals from arrogant men.

The Opening Line (Or: How to Immediately Tank Your Chances)

What Darcy Said: "In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

What Elizabeth Heard: "I've been fighting my feelings because you're beneath me, but my hormones have overruled my better judgment."

What He Should Have Said: "Elizabeth, I've come to realize that my admiration for you has grown into something much deeper. Might I have permission to speak?"

The Body of the Disaster

Then our boy really goes for it:

• Mentions her "inferior connections" (DUDE, NO)

• Brings up her family's "want of propriety" (STOP TALKING)

• Emphasizes what a huge sacrifice he's making (SERIOUSLY, SHUT UP)

• Acts like she should be grateful for his condescension (I CAN'T EVEN)

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Darcy's Internal Monologue: "Surely she'll appreciate my honesty about all her flaws!"

Reality: Elizabeth is mentally composing his obituary.

Modern MMC Proposals: Somehow Even Worse

The "You're Not Like Other Girls" Proposal

What Your MMC Says: "I never thought I'd fall for someone like you. You're so... ordinary. But I guess that's what I need right now. Will you marry me?"

What She Hears: "You're aggressively mediocre, but I've lowered my standards enough to find that acceptable."

The Darcy Comparison: Even Darcy's disaster proposal acknowledged her extraordinary qualities! He just couldn't stop mentioning her "inferior station" while doing it.

The "I've Changed... Sort Of" Proposal

What Your MMC Says: "I know I've made mistakes—like that time I accidentally started a war because you smiled at someone else—but I'm different now! I only killed half as many people this week!"

What She Hears: "I'm still a homicidal maniac, but now I'm a homicidal maniac with slightly better impulse control."

The Darcy Comparison: At least Darcy didn't try to propose while actively being terrible. He waited until he thought he'd improved (spoiler: he hadn't).

The "Destiny" Proposal

What Your MMC Says: "The prophecy says we're fated mates, so we might as well get married. Resistance is futile anyway."

What She Hears: "I'm too lazy to actually court you, so I'm outsourcing romance to cosmic forces."

The Darcy Comparison: Darcy at least took personal responsibility for his feelings instead of blaming fate, prophecies, or his horoscope.

The "I Own Things" Proposal

What Your MMC Says: "I have seventeen castles, forty-three dragons, and a small country. You'd be stupid not to marry me."

What She Hears: "My net worth is the most compelling thing about me as a romantic partner."

The Darcy Comparison: Even disaster-proposal Darcy focused on his feelings rather than his real estate portfolio!

The Proposal Disaster Hall of Fame

The Backhanded Compliment Special

"Despite your tragic fashion sense and that unfortunate incident where you accidentally summoned a demon, I find myself inexplicably drawn to you. Marry me?"

The Comparison Catastrophe

"You're so much better than my ex-wife! She was evil and tried to murder me, but you only tried to murder me that one time, and it was barely premeditated!"

The Emotional Blackmail Express

"If you don't marry me, I'll probably go back to my old ways of conquering kingdoms and enslaving populations. Do you really want that on your conscience?"

The Timing Disaster

"I know your father just died and your kingdom is in ruins, but this seems like the perfect time to discuss our future! You're vulnerable and need a protector!"

What Darcy Did Wrong (A Comprehensive List)

✗ Assumed his feelings were reciprocated ✗ Led with obstacles instead of affection ✗ Insulted her family while declaring love ✗ Made it about his struggle, not their potential happiness ✗ Expected gratitude for his "sacrifice" ✗ Completely misread the room ✗ Basically mansplained why she should love him

The man had ALL the confidence and NONE of the emotional intelligence. It's like watching a peacock try to propose to a lioness—lots of strutting, zero awareness of the danger.

How Darcy SHOULD Have Proposed (The Redux)

The Darcy Do-Over: "Elizabeth, these past months have shown me that my respect and admiration for you have deepened into love. I know I have much to recommend against me—my pride chief among them—but I hope my character might improve under your influence. I don't offer this lightly, knowing I may not deserve your regard, but might I hope that your feelings could, in time, match mine? Would you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my wife?"

See the difference?

• Acknowledges HIS flaws, not hers

• Focuses on how she improves him, not what he's sacrificing

• Asks instead of assuming

• Makes it about THEIR future, not his feelings

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The Modern Author's Dilemma

"But LiAnne," you say, "my MMC is a 500-year-old vampire warlord! He doesn't do vulnerability!"

And I say: "So? Darcy was one of the wealthiest landowners in his county and had never been told 'no' in his life. Character growth doesn't care about your supernatural stats!"

Your immortal whatever can learn to:

• Ask instead of demand

• Focus on her qualities instead of his sacrifice

• Acknowledge his own flaws instead of hers

• Make it about their future instead of his feelings

If Mr. "Ten Thousand a Year" Darcy can eventually figure it out, so can your brooding supernatural boyfriend.

The Bottom Line

Darcy's first proposal was a disaster because he made it entirely about himself—his struggles, his sacrifice, his condescension in loving someone "beneath" him. Elizabeth rightfully told him where he could shove his superior feelings.

Your MMC can be powerful, ancient, wealthy, or magically gifted, but if his proposal sounds like a business merger with a side of emotional manipulation, he's doing it wrong.

The best proposals focus on the beloved's worth, not the proposer's magnanimity in recognizing it.

Your Turn, Fellow Romance Disasters!

What's the worst proposal you've ever written (or read)? Share your romantic car crashes in the comments! Let's create a support group for authors whose MMCs think "marry me or else" counts as romantic.

Remember: If your MMC's proposal would make Elizabeth Bennet reach for a weapon, it needs work.

Next week: "Mr. Darcy Tries Online Dating: A Modern Romance Disaster" because apparently, someone needs to explain to our boy that "looking for someone beneath my station for character development" isn't an attractive bio.

Happy proposing (the right way),

LiAnne Kay